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I wouldn't be without my Greenshield stamps

Stephen Hornsby-Smith

R- What about your greenshield stamps and vouchers and what have you? SP- How the hell did you know about that? R- I read your diary SP- I don't keep a diary! R- I know silly! SP- Now you're a mind reader weaving your witchery and wizardry R-They are a secret code, a pass and currency aren't they? SP- London doesn't do that sort of thing anymore, well not directly R-Not directly? SP-I get a little help from friends abroad R- Don't let me guess! SP- Paris, Rome, Barcelona, Berlin and New York, but not so easily here in London R- Well that's a drag! You must feel so short-changed! SP- It's all so over-dramatized! R- You want to know how I knew? SP- Through you reading my eyes. R- Baptised for the eyes, confirmed by their lies. R-Every one lies and every one chastizes, but no one quite fooled me like you, with all your 'look away',charm. SP- I repulse you? R- Not exactly SP- Hey , I'm going to have to stop you there with all those compliments but my knees are knocking and my head is so sore because it can't take such high esteem all at once! R- I know , don't thank me all 'at once', but it is good to grounded by the universe.. SP- The Universe? How many people have you told about all this? R- Pretty much every one who needs to know SP- Welcome to my new ice-age. Perhaps your worshipfulnesses can see to it that you don't expand the Universe so more of your cronies can destroy me R- In for a penny in for a pound SP - Make a mind sword to commit hari kari

R- I hate it when your spelling is so awful. SP- I hate all words that don't spell right. R- You're the most reasonable mind when in mind -stretched mode. It scares me that I make a connection with a man as lost yet as found as you. SP- Clear as mud. No you don't No, I said no Randall! R- I promise I won't , watch my lips Decorator! I said I wouldn't and I will keep to that promise SP- Here we go R- But your hostility is so easy it's emotionally weazy SP- Shoot your gun then R- Is Stephie weazy all up-tight, or is Steevie weavy easy peasy? SP- I can only open up to when a shrink isn't shrinking - it's called having mates! R- Show me the vouchers and open up your soul to my wallet SP- When you shrink you do not blink.When you are breaking things down, you're breaking things up R- I'm Ms Connundrum Clout SP- You are a lout inside peoples heads! R- And you're a lout outside peoples heads SP- Let's not wait, let's put it down on slate R- That is not my going rate SP- Fill your plate and degenerate R- Why does everything have to revolve around Marvel comics and football! SP- Dr Who would have been a great footballer R- Not on my watch! SP- Who could turn down squillians for being allowed to do GBH to society? R- Please! Dimitri and Vladimir our companions today can do more GBH on their mobile phones than any footballer ever could! SP- You taught them technology? R- Don't worry, they haven't evolved any firther down the foodchain. SP- So D and V have got some evolution thing going have they? But can they experience any emotions yet? R- We've already put something in their vodka SP- Hopefully not any more potatoes. R- Is it just me or are you repeating what I've just said. Come back to the light, come back to intelligence, you've been out in the field for too long. SP- No doubt I could do with some of that stuff too -I could just have me a grilled steak for brekkie, five legs of lamb and baked Alaska for desert. R- Do you know how unfunny you really are? SP- I know, some of your best friends are spookniks! But Randall, you know everyone so by the law of averages you're bound to meet someone from any franchise. R- Don't say it SP- I can't resist, it's too powerful for me, I don't know how much longer I can hold it for? R- Men and their toys SP- Ok, if you insist how can I refuse when my public needs me? R- I can think of a few ways R- ..and he thinks he has a great voice

SP- " Girls just want to have fun, even if the world isn't much fun, fun,gotta have puns ,puns gott..."

R- Alright! Ok , but don't do that dance you do..

SP- I thought you thought that I was a good dancer!

R- Everyone but you sweetheart!

SP- Dance is bliss that reaches the spot with this

R- No! I don't think so. Listen Mr groove, you're embarrasing me

SP- But that's my job

R- You have officially been retiredfrom the dance floor!

SP- But I've got this new move..

R- So has a slug worm, but I prefer Ladies so, what do you know!

SP- Life can be more lunacy or less in one form or another any time of the day or night!

R- Did you know how highly rated you once were?

SP- Thanks mum!

R- Vlad the vicious and Dimitri the demon have paid good money to be stupid, yet to you it comes naturally!

SP- Don't give that high-minded superior take a turn with Ms Irate here! You weren't raised on greenshield stamps!

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