Feel the wheel turning in on you?



S- Feel the wheel turning in on you? R- A piece of beautiful is when you make peace with colour S- Dead as a door nail! R- It is only you with that 'igloo' situation S- At least I'll be warm! And you can have a roaring fire inside it R- But think of the insurance premium!? S- There's more: what if you fart when you're asleep? Can you imagine the explosive potential of fart meets a warm hearth!? R- Who told you that anyone but you farts whilst they are asleep? S- How do you know that you don't? R- I have self-discipline! S- Even when you're asleep? Is this your superpower? R- Pace yourself grasshopper! S- Setting the pace jimminy! R- Up and down pacing around! S- Wearing down my soles,creases and frowns R- No more down to my core! S- Nice ride when it chooses the lifestyle! R- Purrcisely! But what can you do? S- 'Cats'!? already? R- That sounds as though there's an American around!? S- Lay off the anti-American stuff?! R- I'm European! That's my job!! S- Are you part Celtic or instead Med European? Which side do you gravitate? R- Sexy Brexy for me! S- You don't deserve to drive in that case R- Like peoples politics are like their driving acumen? S- I like to drive, I just don't like to steer or be steered. R- And Brexit is steering you the wrong way? S- I need all my faculties to drive! I'm a one hundred per center! R- " Back in the USSR ! Back in the USSR!" S- That's not where we were heading to is it? R- Of course not! S- Are we: "driving until we run out of road" thing? R- Hey! You need one hundred per cent of concentration to deliver a perfect drive clive! S- I can keep my eyes on the road and figure out where the destination is......all on my own! R- Belize or Basingstoke? S- Shuttle service underneath the Atlantic is it? R- How did you .. how did you know that? S- Underne.... what are you talking about? I was joking! R- Don't worry! We can stop off for a break to give you the opportunity for your mind to catch-up? I mean, if you like. Or we can .. S- I'm not going to Basingstoke just in case it's just a 'public hologram' put there by your mother! You keep springing these game-changers Randall! R- The Falklands? S- Can you just leave me with something that is what it says on the tin? R- Griselda's idea! S- We drive we drink and we vomit in unison! Why am I involved with this nightmare family?? R- Thought that would cheer you up! S- Cheered up?! R- Now you're spoiling me! I know what we normally talk about like...er Frida? Holy Frida S- Frida is a genuine life affirming.. R- .....................................Holier than thou S-............................................................Compassionate.. R.....................................................................................Beautiful and intelligent.. S-..................................................................................................................That's right! R-Her holliness has only her holliness to keep her holliness in holliness.. S-................................................................................................Off-fucking limits Randall! R- Lock and load three things for the Catholic road! S- Let me help you there, guilt,fear and self-loathing! R- In one! S- I know that it is odd to talk about science and religion in the same ball-park, but that's why it's so exciting! R- Nearer Belize than Basingstoke S- Quicker can be slower R- Where's your insulin? S- Where's your viagra? R- Revving it up are we grandad? S- Can I suggest that I'm not from your generation and don't follow your practices of 'every micro-second' ? R- OYB! S- Oh, acronym time. you are getting more 'less' than you've ever been Randall R- I'm just saying a long goodbye to my teens and.. S-...........................................................................don't make a too good job of it will you?! R- Not quite the pipe and slippers you've got me down as S- Get over yourself! R- It's called modifying the script! S- Script's with very few lines but plenty of acting wrinkles? R- I'm just not adapting to your male 50's who have lost all their mysteries! S- You'll need dentures for wrinkle school. R- Don't make me laugh in to your collection box Mr sally army S- A lot of cliches and stereoty.. R- .............................................Don't do that?! Your front teeth are all falsies! R-This is my 3rd collection S- Ok , put them back in..what happened? R- Some shit head got me drank! S-...........that er.. erm.. shit head was you wasn't it?! R-No! It was the Angel bloody Gabreal! Of course it was ..me S- You can't spell for toffee can you! R- It was societies fault not mine! S- What did your mother say? R- She doesn't know! S- Of course she knows! She has you watched round the clock! She's got all the west's satellites just trained on you rendering the west utterly exposed to an attack from a aggressor! R- No! She 'doesn't know'. It's something S-...... you don't talk about R- She doesn't talk directly to me on such matters! It's called her 'not knowing'. S- There's more isn't there. R- There was a bloke who was there when I was breaking my teeth. S- Did the bastard not stop you from using... it... to damage your face? R- The hammer! And yes, he was terrified of that er... S-......................................................................self harm! Have you seen him since.. ever? R- He lives in Belize. S- And now we have it! R- I'd..er like to see him. He was a good man to me. S- And just in case you end up breaking your teeth you wanted me to give you some company. Is breaking ones teeth mandatory on this trip? R- Wait till you hear about my trip to Singapore! S- I'd prefer to be able to still sing and not be poor with my teeth in tact thank you. R- What you need Painter is to get out there and live a little! S- What would your mother say? R- Since the 'incident', all her minions have had their front teeth removed as a matter of loyalty, a sort of tattoo. S- And yet she still 'doesn't know'? R- Just drive and don't connive S- I'm striving to not go self-depriving. R- I don't think you have the drive to survive.. S- Not repetition again?! What's up with you? R- Look bastard! If you don't move us both into a better characterization we'll end up somewhere where we don't want to be - in a french comic! S- They wouldn't do that to us would they? R- Anything but 'Les miserables'! S- Always thought you were a madame Bovary type! R- The Count of Monty Christo I could settle for. S- Isn't there a Burger Kings or a Macdonalds on the way to Belize? R- Trying to keep this a modest operation, a 'secret' modest operation S- There's no secret Las Vegas under the Atlantic then? R- No, people are more interested in the ice palace underneath the antarctic. S- As you would! R...........As you would S- Got any tunes to breakup the monotony? R- How does 'The vague melters sound? S- The Vague melters? Who the fuck are they? R- In ten years they'll be big! I mean big, but no one will hear of them until 2025. S- Have they actually recorded anything yet? R- Goodness no! They're all spotty 14 year olds at the moment, but once they are in their early 20's they'll be huge! S- And how do you know the future Ms Crystal ball ? R- The future? Goodness no! The team allocate certain songs ,successful concerts etc.. 'The vague Melters are the ones who will get lucky! Only the backup singer is pencilled in to have a premature sticky end! S- Good to know! R- Can I drive? S- If its a moral question.. R- .........................no it isn't


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