Small Beer



R- It's like giving blood don't you think? S- No. 9 secrets from 5 different people and that's me done, out! Then I have to sleep it off! Any more and I'll throw -up! R- Small beer leads you to the 'Art of forgetting supersedes the Art of Forgiving'! You may have a shit storm in your head but for you it's like being lazy on a beach taking in the senses and sun! S- Here and Zen is good medicine for anyone. Your shot! R- Zen was one of the first words my mother taught me. S- And how is that working out for you? R- I don't give it a lot of thought S- Her from Surrey isn't surrey that she's got no worries. The green ball R- So let's work together Painter? You don't lose that toffee-nose accent and I'll do the 'privileged life and background. It could work for the both of us! S- Book before you leap! Two shots. R- Shots of booze or.. S- Shots of pool R- What is your fav tipple? S- I only declare you've won when you sink the black. You are the worst winner I've ever come across! R- Hands -off Oldie! That's mine,fair and without care! S- As the great Elvis the Costello said..."Accidents will happen" when you take from a man his one true pleasure! R- Do you really feel that beating me at pool will give you ultimate satisfaction? S-Hell Yes!! R- Men are the worst losers! S- It takes a lot of practice to lose well! R- Ow what? Have you ever won at pool with me? I mean ever? S- ....................................................................................................mein gott ! Look at you know who is giving it welly on the tele? R- Put your back into it Painter! Look, I'll play Left-handed next time! S- You are Left-handed Randall! R-Hey! ...do the readers need to know that? S- I didn't want to spoil the surprise! R- Sarcasm and Sergei! He's staring at you again! S- Have I done something wrong? I don't want to tangle with Sergei, he looks menacing! R- Don't be so vain!Neither is he gay! look, he's been overcompensating by looking at you because he's in love with me! What you thought people in general were looking at you? Don't look so torn apart! Do I really want to have all that attention when I'm a 'woman's woman'? S- ........ and now you want to euphemise just to make it seem that it's easier on me do you? R- Here's not looking at you kid! S- So..you have me around to distract attention from men salivating over you now? R- Of course ,I could be wrong.... S- No you're right, you pain in the arse you! R- Nice switch! S- And the mockeries have it! R- I still beat you at pool ! S- I was preoccupied by Sergei's fake attention! R Alright! I can do self-deprication too! S- I wasn't being self-depricatory! R-Tomorrow suit? S- You don't mean for self-depri... R-..................................................Of course I don't ! S- A hoot at the fives? R- Where shall we and me meet again? S- Just let someone else drive! R- Didn't you enjoy pissing commuters-off by crawling along at 25 mph? I mean, we built-up quite a 'traffic' behind us! S- Jam the accelerator on next time! R- Ok..... here we go! Speed! S- Car or boat? R- Ferry! S- Mersey ,Tyne or Channel? You won the pool, you decide where we swim from! R- You will drown this time of year! S- I'm drowning right now! R- 5 pm or 5am? S- Are you kidding? R- But you're at your most insulting at 5am? S- I'll fit-in! R- When have you ever... OK, sarcasm is new from you Stephen! S- Yer? New for you too? R- OK Fat boy, the 'D' will pick you up when plans have been made! S- Listen four-eyes you deserve a prize! R- now you're beginning to worry me! ..Oh god, you're a football supporter! S- How else do I pay the rent? R- I thought you pay to get into a football palace? S- Football 'stadium' Ran! R- do you place bets or something? S- That's gambling! I don't do gambling! What's tripping you up? Oh of course! They pay me to leave the stadium! R- All those angry fans at an unpopular manager.. they need someone to start the process of ditching him. That's where I come in! S- It's good money! Someone always keeps me in full-time employment! Where there are winners there are losers too! R- How many matches this season? S- Every second week! R- You've become a football connoisseur of destroying peoples career? S- I also back talent too! R- ................so that's how you rent in Knightsbridge? S- At least I don't do the rental scam on the queen's crown jewels! R- They are always safely returned ! S- On pain of death! R- Nothing so rudimentary......just alight touch and an influence here and there and... S- They are in Parkhurst ! R- No! Just a spell as attendants in a morgue......for 20 years..... and then they have to fork-out 5 times the value of then jewels themselves.. S- I presume this is not a scam to get 5 times the value of the gems up-front ? R- I think it's a very sophisticated way they can pay back society for their crimes! S- But no one deliberately loses the crown jewels, or no one 'assists' them to lose them without their knowledge? R-It is just something that is a little extra during the credit crunch. S- So you 'rent -out' for people to deliberately steal the crown jewels in order to obtain 5 times the value? How many times did they go 'missing' last year? R- We budget for once a month! S- No! Don't give me that sheepish look! You are committing a crime.. R-.........................................................................................................against nearly all of them are bankers! S- Ok, I won't lose much sleep over those weasels! R- Welcome to austerity Stephen! S- It's good to be back! R-


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