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Why the British Library?

Stephen Hornsby-Smith

- Why are we eating fish and chips in the 'British Library Randall? - I know where they keep their stash of vinegar - Perhaps a morgue next time Randall? - Bags more cheer in a morgue - And for whom does the bell tell? I've noticed that you repeat such well oiled phrases. Where is the originality in our lives? - I know what's coming.... - ..........." I repeat I will not repeat myself" - Was Mr Emmit having fun? Or do you know that in the 22nd century they will have exhausted disease and ill health, plus they want to make us all live beyond comprehension? - No . That was Mr Casswell. - They'll have to impose malnutrition - It's called prolonged exposure to glossy magazines that infect young girls and boys with size '0' as standard. - They'll pay people to kill people for the benefit of the NHS. Imagine : NHS serving time in Wormwood scrubs for possession of a bazooka! - I can think of a few who I would recommend to be shot if that helps? - I do so like it when you think revenge will console you! Was it towards the mother in law but not towards your ex wife? - I'll dodge that one Randall - But you wouldn't mind throttling your infernal mother in law. Perhaps on the NHS? - They will pay people to inherit death.Eternity has to be 'regulated with a pinch of privilege.?' - Death might be trendy and an attractive proposition to extract you from a difficult situation; I'm thinking gambling, drugs and alcohol etc - But what if the NHS was to offer a service of as much , more than enough stuff to need addiction care? - So Arnold Swarzeneggar in Total Recall? The NHS prescribes crime,we take our medicine and then we recover from a trip on planet addiction! - No more private cars Mr petrol head, just trains ,boring trains for everyone! - Nationalization by the back door - No! Privatization by the front door, trains become scale electric opportunities for bigger business to play with? - How does any form of egalitarianism manage to creep through and steal all these ideas when we don't see any royalties here! - Perhaps no weather,or no actors? perhaps no TV? Perhaps no football played by men but played only by women? - Please stop! it's killing me! Such cruelest of sports! - Wipe that smile off your face! If I'd have wanted a drama I'd of asked an Australian! - How about war? What do you think of it/ - I'm sure a subtext is going on but here goes...I have nothing personally against war as long as it doesn't involve me. Sending rookies to do a mans job might mean they get massacred or the massacre? Me? I'd rather be an outraged voyeur demanding a cessation to all violence, including violence done to trees. - You mean that if you appear to be gently out to lunch then everyone will leave you alone? - 70%? - 70% leave me alone - Are you playing me Stephen? - Painter is not playing, master. Master is Painter's friend. - And exactly who is the master and who is Gollum here?

- I can only work with safety in numbers; where's your daughter/Or, a digital image that resembles someone other than you. - If only I was a digital image, the memories I could remaster. Oh, she's playing football with her granny - I thought that was off limits? - Yes I hate football, but all the females of my family learn football. It's a cover for the matriarchs of the order. - Order? Are you a secret bunch of nuns I don't know about? And shouldn't your mother be tending to fires and cats on high branches? - No, I've got a father, nuns these days are test tube nuns on the quiet; all very hush hush! And the Pm is deputizing for my mother today - Did..did did you just say the Prime Minister is 'deputizing for your mother? What, so the Pm's doing some cleaning as well right? Is this going to be a problem Painter/ - No, not at all. I just need a few moments to bow and scrape to the PM,s employer! - oh don't be so melodramatic! All PM's work for my family. Let's just say we've inherited a group of supporters and their families. - This is ludicrous Randall! How else do you expect me to react? Let me get this straight, your mother is an illegal cleaner immigrant but also running Britain? - She will be so grateful for your further cover story! Der!! - And your father? - He works in a bookies in south London. - A cover story? - Not at all. My mother wanted us to be grounded and not aloof. - Of course! Why didn't I realize? - But he does own the bookies in South London, and has some influence in legal matters abroad. - Some legal matters? - He has hobbies... - Hobbies..? - .......he likes to build Prisons... in Siberia - He's in the .....concrete business! - No! Only clients who specifically ask to be buried in concrete. Oh you are not familiar with this practice? - Concrete covering dead bodies sort of means the cosa nostre Randall. - No. this is a solid business much maligned by thugs who shift drugs and terrorism. No, in some parts of the world, people ask to be buried in their owned properties to ensure that their families inherit their wealth without too much tax. Apparently possession is 9 tenths the law of ownership....or something! - Yet not someone who immediately one thinks of being a philanthropist exile in a South London bookies who is moonlighting as a Siberian war Lord. - Nothing of the sort. Besides he likes you. - I've never had the honour.,have I? - Well do you see that thick set bloke reading about Plant life, and that smart looking bearded bloke? It's rhetorical. That's Dmitri and Deng fin; they keep an eye on me. In fact every time we have met up there was someone making sure I was ok. Now they don't like you, which is why my father does... You are perfect cover for me, you are mulish,bad tempered and a no body! - You must really work on your compliment skills because you are over doing it and making me have a swell head! - However,.. - Hang on , did your Dad vet me , or find out about details about me that are strictly private? - Sure! - Don't worry, he's stickler for the 10 or was 11 commandments? - Well that makes everything OK then. I feel a lot safer! - Yes, that's what I thought! - And you are not drawing attention to yourself any way at all? - No! That's the second play if the first doesn't set people on the wrong trail: Oh come on Stephen!? we pose as a Billionaire family. - That isn't that far off the mark is it Randall the deceiver! - No, we own a lot but can't actually cash it in. You see here it is: Think way back , go on way a century? - 15th - More.

- Roman times. - Not quite, but close. We own but can't spend everything because that was the bet. The bet with some tribal busybody who dared us to own everything of note but not spend it. We did that up until the 19th century, when purchased the bet in some card game. We own the bet and we own quite a lot as well. - But you can't spend it. So money? - We can use green shield stamps or other tokens only - So you are one of the most wealthy prestigious families in Europe yet you can't cash in your chips? - Hence why we look after bookies with lots of philanthropy. we are both victims and victims of one of the most enduring scams ever. - A type of Knights Templar without the sword and without dignity, but with the knowledge that you lot falling on your sword could lead to widespread global permanent depression. - See!? It's not all bad. Well we have been the stabilizing effect on Britain for too long to remember but not too long for people to forget. And you snarled at me sharing your website! - Don't push it! There are somethings that I want to be the sole owner of! - Sole owner and my family are the sole owner and sole provider etc - Step off your bragging machine! - Since when do I ever say sorry Stephen? - Let's start with now!

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