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A Gallery of Saints and Sinners

Stephen Hornsby-Smith

R- 'The' Soren Plinkt ? S- I know! R- We're talking about the same Soren... Blinkie right? S- Absolutely! R- Blinkie "too macho"? S- Changed their minds in an instant! R- Did he do anything, say anything provocative? S- Nothing indiscreet? Nothing malicious...... No we're talking Blinkie here! One minute their circling around him, sizing him up, and the next they pull-out!? R-That's a fickle! That's a stretch too far off harsh! S- I know! R- Were they gay? But all my friends like Blinkie S- Blinkie's shy but happy with women and socially a winner with gay blokes I mean he's HH! Hetero hero! R- I thought that means Hetero heathen? S- Not to gay blokes! It's all in the eyes.. R- ....that no doubt escapes Lesbians! S- No! Gay men have a code- don't forget Gay men are ambivalent towards men in general, and the idea that they fancy all men is just a myth! R- Soap Box Alert! Painter's on his soap box! Tell me and your readership when you're going to get back to dialogue and move away from the doctrinal lectures that you HH don't know or have any experience in! S- Let's avoid the Feminist versus the effeminist brawl if we can! R- And people ask why Lesbian's keep their own company!? S- Do the math! It's only recently that gay men want to or are allowed to start a family! It's called catch-up time at last! R- Men! S- Ok! I'll stop the lecture as long as you stop smirking whilst you wind me up! R- Pissed or stoned? No, I can answer that one! S- Who? R- Blinkie of course! S- Sorry, I was wallowing in my need for Rand R with a bit of unreconstructed PC R- And you had me thinking......well not much! Snort or smoke? S- Not Blinkie! R- He's more a Saint than a sinner then! S- He's more PC health and safety. So could it be a wind-up? Are they softening him up so that they can better a return from his work? R- It has taken him decades S- 3 decades! R- To justify his stubborn mind that a independent gallery can showcase his work for his benefit -so long at sports centre's and libraries etc. S- I'm gutted for the bloke! But he's quite robust, and says "Why do I need to pay people to buy my Paintings?" R- Bluster! Sheer bluster and bravado! S- Yes but he's got a point! R- No! He's got a point to prove! "I won the theoretical argument " doesn't cut it for me! S- He's paying the price for being too nice! R- Bollocks! He has made an enemy out of everyone in the Art industry! S- Money does need to change hands to get the circulation pumping! R- Painting is a poverty trap! S- He'll piss off the compromisers by being too precious or holier than thou! R- He'll piss off those who have cut corners of which dodgy is the word S- Negative equity if you don't have a darker side. R- A perfect storm that the word has gone around and spoilt the pleasure of many who haven't seen his work! S- Target practice! R- He's no angel but he's now 'piss-off I'm a martyr don't get me out of here!' S- Nobody likes a smarty pants! R- It reduces bone fide Artists who are just standing their ground! S- In your fifties and can't get a break! R- Sorri Surrey! S- You can't strong arm the status quo like that! R- Tails wagging the dog should be tails you lose S- Can't your mother intervene? R- The only Culture vultures she can move mountains by are all living in Malibu Cali.. S-.... I know it's California! I suppose cultural attache to The Yemen or Syria isn't what he's looking for either R- Can't we send him on a trip somewhere to cool off a bit? S- Didn't your mother have an idea about Australia? R- I think she's feeding me wrong information deliberately S- She's on to you already! R- I do have an exciting espionage and counter-espionage relationship with my mother- MI5 are always very kind! S- Where is your mother? R- Here we are, in the far left of this screen. S- So she invades your privacy and wants you to learn the tricks of the trade R- Oh dear.. S- Oh my Godness! Is that who I think that is? R- Yes, that is who that looks like. No he didn't die by a drone strike,he's one of our most successful players in the Middle-East. S- Isn't he a captain of cruelty? R- Absolutely! But he shares his info with us S- How kind! R- Stability by Instability? S- Didn't Putin say that originally? R- No John Prescott said that. Very interesting and vital man to have around S- Prescott is a clown! R- Oh that's just a play! He's worked with us via the Americans for years! S- John anti Thatcher anti-Tory a crank yank? R- Mr Texas himself S- Isn't he a socialist from Hull? R- Of course he's a socialist, and a liberal and a communist and a democrat and a Republican and an anarchist and a green and both straight, gay bi and even trans gender! S- Shut up ! R- It's what PHELPS wanted and trained a lot of all politicians over the last 60 years S- Who is Phelps? R- Political harmony something something priority surveillance thing- a- me. S- A not so black op but a useful thing to count-on in a tight spot! R- Exactly! Code named 'Michael'. S- Isn't Saint Michael the patron saint of the creative Arts? R- Bingo! We often swap him for a Russian when ever we need. S- Reciprocal? R- Rhetorical. Every bodies happy and no one goes home without a party bag! S- Swapsees? R- During the cold war we used to swap missiles with the Russians- as we did with all our friends S- They let you win the cold war? R- Oh, we are due to lose another cold war in two centuries time! It's the least we can do! S- So what's with all the superpower aggro in Syria? R- Oh that's just a spat between MI5 and MI6 S- And all the refugees-millions of them? Are they just extras in a game of in house chicken? R- Now you're being silly! S- Can I ask about Vietnam? R- No! But I can tell you that we're all the best of friends now! S- When does all this fix get to slide? R- When we've won. Then it's somebody else's turn. S- How can you be so 19 years old and so cynical? R- Teens are more prepared for all the shit! S- Who the hell are you people? R- Well actually you are my uncle by birth S- All right I can take the joke and the sleaze but when you get personal I'm a non-believer! R- You are actually Scandinavian when we looked into the matter! S- Eat shit and die and fuck off Randall! R- It's Blinkie who is the important character here! Stop being so stroppy! S- I don't even look like you! R- I'm just giving you a hand-up and you throw it all away! You do look like your daughter though! S- I don't have a daughter! Any more game for a laughs? R- Uncle Painter S- I want to see evidence. I have evidence that I don't have evidence R- You don't remember Aunt Feodora do you! S- I don't even know how to spell that name let alone pronounce it properly! R- This is a picture of you at the wedding and at the birth of your daughter S- You could quite easily have doctored that! R- Right completely! But I have a couple of words that only you would know from the recess of your mind S- Fuck you! R- Fuck you niece Randall! My mother thinks you're cruel to yourself! S- So now I'm a masochist to boot! R- No. You are hard on yourself S- Compared with Dona Corleone I sure am! R- Everybody needs a mirror Uncle! S- Stop calling me that! R- Hey! I was more hostile than you're being about the Uncle thing! S- About Blinkie R- He's going to be more cooperative than he thinks! S- Over his dead body! R- Almost! S- And what happens when he's dying in a ditch? R- Mama has personally selected the right ditch already. Every needs a breakdown, if only to freshen-up!

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