Relocation


Stephen Hornsby-Smith

S- She sounds like a villain ! But so do we ?

R- Great ! Bloody great ! Did you have to give the game away ?

S- What ? To the readership ? People read about us so they don't become us Randall !

R- Negative energy sells !

S- Okay ! Which location are we on now ?

R- Don't get resentful over Phil Spencer?

S- Captain Peacock ?

R- He's done a lot of work for our family

S- He's done a lot of work for himself !

R- He puts in the hours ...

S- .........................lost in trans..

R-.........................................transmission !

S- Copped it did Sophie ?

R- Don't draw attention to her !

S- Because.....

R- Her film was meant to be buried by the critics...but a funny thing happened...

S-............it was universally successful ?

R- Grissley was universally unpopular !

S- Good old Grissley ! Never shy of a burst of success ..

R-.....................................................................................She almost went bankrupt !

S- She probably made the film a success to fend-off a potential rival from any future film 'heavy losses on demand' competition!

R- Well, she's er... Grissley !

S-...................................she sure is ! Never doubted her for a second !

R- Her money losing business sure does some heavy laundering...lifting!...of course she's not moral enough to let things slip !

S- Self preservation with money to spoil !

R- That's my girl !

S- I thought she was your latest ...attachment ?

R- She's fun ,....as production managers go ?

S- You really should only use your magic where it can do no harm ! How did she take it ?

R- Hard to tell ?!!

S- Well what did she say ?

R- "Who the fuck do you think you are ?!"

S- Alluding to the Family Tree franchise ?

R- Obviously !

S- Or you creeped her out ?

R- I don't think it was an exchange of numbers but of....er...

S- Life isn't Art but rock and roll Ran !

R- I see you're making the best use of the Library Painter !

S- Stamps and libraries...why do I spend all my time there ?

R- Because it's cheap and keeps your accountant happy !

S- I always find some truth behind every thing in the library..

R- Look hard enough and you'll find any thing you want !

S- Wrapped and delivered !

R- Ms ikea is not my idea !

S- What doesn't that mean ?

R- Berlin is what I'm looking for

S- Why waste energy when you can waste your life away ?

S- I never thought your relationships were a carbon neutral arrangement ?

R- Who has got the energy to lose ?

S- She hasn't !

R- Whose she ?

S- I don't know ! I was following your lead ?

R- Do you have a lead ?

S- Frederica !

R- Who the fuck is she ?

S- Not Chrissie ! Your partner !?

R- Don't look at me like that ! Things are good between Chrissie and me !

S- But I thought.. I just thought... Are you doing the rat on Chrissie ?

R- That would be me !

S- And now we have creepville !

S- Chrissie is a fictional Character ?

R- Yesterdays porn !

S- Lies damn lies and history !

R- Thanks for the vote of no confidence Painter, mother will be relieved !

S- Happy to accommodate !

R- er...Her name isn't Frederica either ...

S- You are a sad lonely woman Ran ! But look on the bright side....no ! There is no bright side here !

R- I work at it !

S- Very impressive ! Clinical Randall !

R- Oh goodness ! The readership think that your are being sarcastic here Painter !

S- The harder you work the less self-employed you are !

R- Never share yourself with any one except when you're trying to please someone else !

S- 'If the money's right' is not a default position ?

R- A woman is never an island Painter !

S- No body is truly self-employed !

R- Once people realize that they are not going to die happy...!!!

S- Life is putting-up with hippy rather than the perfect happy !

R- Keep the 'a' and drop the 'i' ?

S- Hippy never interested me..

R..............................................going no where !!

S-..................................... Let me have my moment with my discovery about me please...

R- Piss-off Painter !! You've become quite boring !

S- Hey ! This late middle-cage isn't easy !

R- We'll call that a stoppage !

S- I am Frederica !The cow who didn't want to know !

R- Be who ever you want to be Painter !!

S- Alright ! Alright ! You WIN....... the cliche competition !

R- AND NOW SHE CELEBRATES !!!!

S- I had an off day !

R- Took you to boring-ville and you dozed-off ! WE, that means not you Painter! ARE THE CHAMPIONS MY FRIENDS !!

S- Don't get cocky...

R- I mean......Happy rather than ...hippy? What were you thinking of ?

S- To the victor goes the spoils !

R- "I'm going to get this party started ! "

S- Honourable in victory aren't you !!?

R- Spoiler alert ! You have just lost, baby !! You know what that means....?

S- I know ! Atone for my 'sins' !

R- And?

S- I know ! Stop torturing me !

R- Do You need any encouraging Painter ? Any pointers Painter ?

S-Never say..

R- Louder !!

S- NEVER say die Australia, and always respect your own superiority like the French !

R- And what does that mean ?

S- Arsenal win the league !

R- Which ?

S- The fucking premier league !

R- Which is ? Come-on! You're doing so well..

S- The best league in the whole wide world !!!

R- Of whom Arsenal...?

S- I can't !!

R- JUST FUCKING SAY IT !

S- ..are better than Chelsea !

R- LOUDER ?

S- ..are...better than CHELSEA !

R- Now that's what I'm talking about !!

S- FF off !

R- All my Christmas's have come at once !

S- Can you now understand why Christmas relies on the fortune of the blues for me ?

R- You blues, you lose !

S- Never underestimate the Romans !

R- I'm a 'can do woman', Painter !

S- The bridge to all success is under your ruse Ran !

R- HEY! No one told me he was allowed to use word play ! I should have been consulted !?

S- Actors ! They are all the same !

R- You have no creative instinct at all, have you Painter !?

S- I've seen too many make-over shows to remember what Art is !?

R- You have been made !....

S-........................................over?

R- Here he goes again ! Just follow the script mate !

S- What is a script but an awkward silence in emptying dialogue of its import !?

R- NOW COME ON Mate !.................. Well !

R- He's just destroying my work by his cavalier attitude ..and er.. his er..platitudinous re-working of the script ! It's a team game Mate !

R- Don't smirk at me ! You empty piece of shit !

S- You do realize that this is televised before the 9 o 'clock watershed ?

R- At least I'm a professional !

R- Take five ? He needs to take this project seriously!

R- It might only be an animation programme, but..

S-..................................I must say, and I I think I speak for every one on the set,..shut the fuck-up !


© 2019 Stephen Hornsby-Smith

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