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You promised me a circus!

Updated: Sep 21, 2019

Stephen Hornsby-Smith

S-A Hall of Mirrors and instant coffee in the theme park of Milton Keynes? You promised me a circus!

R- I've gone off London.

S- London has gone off you! All those giggles and cackling in the public gallery of the House of narrowed your options a bit?! Alright, you look 'I've got an idea'...Turin cloned?

R- In 1917 Rutherford split the atom, in 1953 Watson and Crick discovered the double helix when Turin's eponymously named 'The Turin Test'opened the door to human understanding to a digital exploration that spawned a series of digitalized life forms that would open-up the human mind to remapping predictions ,at first like our contemporary weather maps, and then it passed the 'Turin Test' and self-developed in ways that even our best minds are catching-up to today!!

S- Stem cell development is passed it before it started? ...So they are a bone thrown to pacify the medical profession ?

R- No need for the 'Manchurian Candidate' when you've got the future in the palm of your hands!

S- Wait. Even hypnosis is yesterdays news?

R- Positively dinosaurish ! But what is important is that we can rule out by prior knowledge of the future, all the unpleasantness of future criminality?!!

S- Sounds nuts, but can we please get something to eat or my stomach will sow itself-up!

R- Yes, I saw what you did there! Future proof is your need for cake!

S- Please let me eat a big piece of cake?

R- We no longer need CCTV cameras or any intrusive surveillance if we can pre-empt any trouble??!!

S- Is this your version of West world or just Assassin's Creed? Those blokes could throw a mean knife though....

R- Aren't you listening?

S- That would be no..?

R- No longer relient on DNA tests when we have potential wide open spaces to be who nature intended to be!! Ultimate freedom will be our great discovery! WE CAN ESCAPE OVER PRODUCTION SOCIAL EXTREMITY AND CRIMINALITY!!!!!!!

S- I'm just pleased to have made it through this sludge that I've been drinking!

R- Your scheme of mass individualism exporting and importing the life blood of trade! You called it "freedom to roam given back to the individual"!!

S- Randall, I've learnt the hard way to quote myself because people like you keep qouting me accurately - that will never do!

R- We sign up to be vetted but once cleared of evil crimes we can set our own boundaries and guarantee self-determination!

S- My grandma said they used hypnosis on Nazi spies during the should know that Hypnosis is my favourite that you are consigning to the dump??!! I mean, what ever happened to good old fashioned detective work?!

R- I don't know and i don't care! We could enjoy free will Stephen! We could re-boot the epoch of governmental freedoms of the 18th century when protection from each other was based on positivistic embracing of mutual deterrent and where guns were to ensure fair play and not to arm criminality on the black market fueling drug wars and the like!!?!!

S- I know! I wrote the paper for goodness sake!

R- Do not ruin my moment here! This is my moment ...even if it is your .....'supposition'

S-" Embrace the science and obey 21st century enlightenment !"

R- "The 21st century Religion is free will!" ..?

S- Okay! I went to far with the rhetoric!

R- Too far? You went to Mercury and back!

S- Can I get some cake now?

R- Your ideas just needed a little tweaking and voila! : freedom or subversion, destruction and unbalancing the "state and human condition of opportunity"!!

S- I didn't write that

R- Of course you didn't ! I did !!! Why do you do this? Wake-up! I'm doing my Spock moment and you can fall asleep at the most inopportune moments!!

S- You're ranting about internationalism based upon trade, commerce with transparent honour and integrity blah blah blah..

R- This is the next stage of human development where wrinkles and frustrations can be ironed-out by mutual interest, and by the back stop of 'you cause strife and you lose your ..


R- Don't be shallow !

S- You want to dig a hole, keep on digging it !

R-How to meet the futuristic life in permanency, but never the same day !!!?

S- There was this film called 'Utopia' where..

R-................................................................but the bad news is that dissidents and criminals will be excluded!

S- Someones got to pay the bills!

R- Are you a dissident?

S-No I'm not! Are you?

R- No I'm not!

S- Sorted!!

S- On another pressing issue, do I look like the predictor of free market in spite of the torrid complexity of life, to you? I mean do I personify the heroic game changer who makes the world economy into a shopkeeper ..

R- Hold-on right there! All the male good-looker's are already signed-up - you're not one of them!

S- And I always thought it was my tailor you were offended by!?

R- You are almost completely base metal and very little gold Painter!

S- ......An eccentric Englishm..

R- ..........................................Eccentric? You are a noble freak!!!

S- As you say Martyrdom is so yesterday but eccentricity is freakish except with the English!!

I could try to sell it on ebay? Perhaps communicate with my future self on Ebay?

R- Too many ripples actually make waves... Conformity is my bitch!

S- What does that even mean Ran?

R- Wait and see. No! You already know!

S- But I...don't.. Randall

R-You snooze you lose Painter !

S-You really are too fast with the future already!

R- Snappy one lines aren't worth a dime !

S- I can live with cheap!

R- How about a bout of a fillem?

S- Now you're Irish?

R- I know how much you like pictures

S- I've got it down to an Art form!

R- No, no you haven't Painter!

S- I love the smell of acrylic paint in the morning!

R- Pow wow with Apocalypse Now?

S- Visualisation is very now!

R- Could you please trash talk my favourite film a bit more please?

S- You never use please twice in the same sentence

R- You can ruin a great moment can't you

S- I'm here to make you heal.

R- No heal with a double E! But you are here to steal Painter!

S- Or protect the Apple of Eden

R- You are not an Assassin from the Creed, you are a Sith bored!

S- Says Darth Vader herself!

R- It's always Darth Vader with you!

S- Restoring the balance of the force is still very thirsty work! Ask George Best!

R- Who is George Best?

S- A much revered poet celibate monk from the 15th century

R- Before my time

S-Best of British? Calling time wasn't Best's style?

R- Puns united here!

S Not quite but nearer than you think!

R-When we've quite finished...

S- Georgie Best just didn't !

R- Cheap and trivial does it for you today!

S- Mr self-parody!

R- Just like Marlon Brando !

S- You know you can hurt me if you vulgarise a great man !

R- Get me to the pictures on time driver!

S- Minny? Clear case of Mistaken identity officer!

R- But every motive

S- Let's visit the crime scene!

R- Now you've lost the readership! How many times have I told you that corn is over, cheese is moldy and kitsch is a Big Mac !

S- How about some pop-corn?

R- You should have died in the 70's!

S- But you already know when I die don't you!?

R- Is tomorrow good for you?

S- Try and stop me!

R- i don't think that will be a problem

S- At least I'll die in the hands of someone I don't like

R- Flattering me with unbridled contempt...How generous of you!

R- I don't think I'll ever forget you... or is that forgive you?S- I know right? What a coin to flip!!

R- If I reject you I'll feel great and mildly guilty. But if It's the other way round...then that's grounds for revenge!

S- I'd pick revenge over smug guilt every time !

R- Better to have hated and lost than never to have hated at all !

S- I have nothing but vacuous space for you there.

R- Lost your ball in the rough? Wakey wakey eggs and backey !

S- A few seconds on the lips and a pound of extra of psychology on the wits

R- never saw you as 'Pysch man'

S- No?

R- No.

S- Am I trying too hard

R- That would do it

S- I thought you did hyperbole?

R- .............some of the time when I'm bored

S- Be more specific about the pain that it involves

R- No nay never, nay no never no more will I play the wild Dr no never no more !

S- Well put

R- Quite

S- tell me more tell me more ..

R- Spite, conceit or equivocation ?

S- Is this is a double act rather than we're a couple, I could live with that

R- Never a couple had so much in common, except we don't fancy each other

S- So no rows to kiss and make-up, and no sex because we're..

R-...............................................................................................not compatible

S- Hey ! I'm more incompatible with you than you're to me !

R- Always the last to wake-up and smell the coffee, but always the first to steal a good argument !

S- I didn't steal any ones argument !

R- Q. E. D

S- But we're still arguing like a couple

R- All this 'provoke Randall' skit doesn't wash with me Painter!

S- Can't we talk about this?

R- I know what happens next : We share some words and we talk but we never communicate !

S- Can we shout?

R- Of course !

S- Champion !

R- Don't get northern, you'll spoil the row!

S- Are we allowed hysterics?

R- Absolutely ! Pretty cool ay?

S- Right on the money!

R- Is that your point or are we going ambitious ?

S- Don't stray from the franchise

R- How about sub-text?

S- Don't start also Ran.

R- Don't patronize me Hornsby !

S- Bruised male ego or.. man hulk alert !

S- Forgive this intrusion, but have you seen the ugly mob reading this stuff?

R- That pays for the beer !

S- There is that.

R- Hey ! it's only money right?

S- It's still better to know you have some!

R- Every time baby !

S-Baby? BABY?

R- That left my head for dead !

S- Well let it die quick smart next time !

R- Intellectual abortion isn't really me Painter.

S- That can be quickly arranged

R- You picked a fine time to leave me Lucille

S- You named an intellectual head-birth?

R- Didn't John terry slip when taking that infamous penalty on .. the thingy? by Ronaldo United?

S- That is still a painful memory but no longer a nightmare !

R- How is super frank?

S- What now you're an expert in football?

R- No more Damian Drogba..

S- Di..

R-.....dier Drogba

S- It's a sign a sign !

R- An now it's Monty Python !

S- But I haven't finished!

R- Don't crow about Schubert to me !

S- Of course Herr Schubby!

R-No, it's your turn

S- I'm turning in for the night

R- The night is still young

S- That's what Schubert said Sir !

R-Fair play to you! I'm not going to lie

S- Nesser is going too far !

R- That won't hold-up in the court of public opinion! Now we're courting..

S- I'll take the sofa ! Court-out were we?

R- Court in session

S- All female?

R- Now that's what I'm talking about

S- Oh God ! She accepts the challenge!

R- I accept the challenge !

S- All the gear but no idea !

R- Very gestural

S- Very technical

R- Technique number one : I'm new to this, or technique number two I've been traumatized or lastly, you're the most amazing woman I've ever seen.

S- And that works does it?

R- Every time !

S- Rip-off Randall !

R- No! Just 'yes you can!'

S- You're quoting the first African American President so glibly?

R- Yes I can !

S- You're a predator 'Randers'

R- Yes I am !

S- Ran ! Wake-up!! Wake-up!

S- Do you remember..any of it?

R-I hit my head on a homophobic woman's fist!

S- No! That was last week!

R- My head hurts ! Have I been in an accident?

S- No that as the week before !

R- It's my mother again?

S- Yup! Heroin again !

S- I couldn't stop her! You wanted to make all cars white to be mobile sun reflectors like the polar ice-caps. And then you wanted to make women's shoes be both heeled and flat by 'changing the design without losing the female sign' !

R- Ah, now that makes sense ! Did she say' it was time sensitive' before she loaded me up with her favourite chiding of her daughter . That would be the heroin !

S- She punishes you for having creative ideas?

R- Ever since I slipped an acid tab in her drink

S- Very 'Salvador'!

R- No, before then. Originally It was my fathers birthday present to my mother. They are particular when it comes to birthday presents.

S- Look, what did you do wrong?

R- She has to control big ideas, so that she can allot them to her favourites.

S- And her daughter isn't one of her favourites?

R- It'll be my time next January!

S- So something was..

R- ...........................Hidden to use for maximum effect when the time is right

S- You are defending... abuse !

R- That's not altogether true is it? Besides, did you keep me talking until the ambulence arrived?

S- ...Your family are dangerous !

R- Original, specific, even peculiar, but never OTT.

S- I puked-up for you ! It was the only way I could stop your mum from making matters worse!

R- She was trying to give me the antidote stupid!

S- How did I know?

R- My mother and I a mutually beneficial arrangement.

S- Which is?

R- Everything else is allowed but you are not allowed to kill each other!

S- Good to know!

R- Easy to roll over! Take cover everyone, Stephen's on the war-path with his euphemisms and platitudes!!!!

S- You and your mother 'cut it fine sometimes! That's all there is to it!

R- I'm a fucking conceptual Artist that puts my family into my Art !

S- You're a writer Ran !

R- Which is a conceptual type of Art.

S- I'm here to spoil your big day !

R-'One day I'll thank you?'

S- Be nice until then!

R- Age cannot wither nor customs stale my infinite variety! Bingo That's a tenner you owe me!

S- Bugger ! You must have cheated !

R- Pay-up or lose your fingers!

S- I thought you'd lost your chance with all the hard-core heroin story!

R- Ever been hunting painter?

S- The Big Bang Theory has entered our dialogues? That is worth a fiver at least !

R- bad loser will lose her! What is the game?

S- Rules rule !

R- That's it Painter ! On the noddle! Thank you Cleopatra !

S- You're celebrating over 2 pints and some crisps?

R- 'a win is a win!'

S- Very Scottish referendum!

R- Now here's your poisoned chalice of malice! " life is a foreign language"

S- Context?

R- Gobbledegook! You have 10 minutes starting from......

S- The very ant..ic..pation !

R- Now! Now tell me what my mother really said to you?

S- You know? Of course!

R- No save that for later!

S- Oh the 'fru...stra...tion !'

R- Just get on with your knitting Painter !

S- You're all sugar and spice and all such..

R-..................................... gobbledegook?

S- 'When Art becomes life' !!

R- FFF-off Painter ! You know I like pretentiousness to be savoured !

S- Was I too you?

R- That's my job !Leave it to the professional !

S- Honestly, I can't see why pretentiousness is so big for you?

R- But you're very successful at being unsuccessful!

S- Ok ! I get it !

R- Think Oscar Wilde !

S- Think T.S. Elliot

R- Don't think just act

S- No! I'm ruling that out ! You've got 3 minutes left ! Can she do it no she can't

R- Can do can't do !

S- Gobbledegook! And..

R- too easy ! Like taking candy from a baby!


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