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Does it tempt you?

Stephen Hornsby-Smith

S- Listen Ms Nice what's the price?

R- Look , i gave you a great review for your new compilation of poetry; how was I to know that my Editor would not publish it? I thought he liked it.He said it was contentious but not bragging or artificial and contrary in a good way. He said it was intriguing to see how the public would welcome it.

S- He just didn't include it in any of the last months publications. Did you get paid for it?

R- Of course

S- Selling -in seems to win for you Randall

R- Don't , just don't

S-Don't look for all the answers when you're not even asking any of the questions!

R- Unfinished business

S- We have lift-off

S- Rae would say 'same old same old'!

R- Can I do the sarcasm here?

S- Are we ever not exchanging wild fits of sarcasm across the pub table?

R- Paying for the drinks?

S-I know ! Bloody sarcasm

R- You're not even close

S-'I can see clearly now the Rae has gone...I can see all the testicles in my way..

R-Oh God! He's singing readers! No fighting ok?

S-I like the move you make when you watch me getting pulverized by some toughs, and then enjoy putting a useless plaster over the bruises and cuts, when I come to.

R- I'm not paying for any more emergency dentistry.

S- Then I'll cut my teeth on something else

R- You can't afford it

S- So where is the poetry?

R- In my Editors hands

S- I worry when you do double- entendres

R- I worry that you've run out of coupons and you're relying on your poetic elan

S- You say some of the most touching, subtle..

R- Just don't get amorous with me

S- For the record: Fuck off to all your assumptions, I'm almost 3 times your age

R- Taming the Daming is my aiming!

S- Not so loud! I don't want to get hit by those homophobes in the corner

R- Sod that!Let's make macho, despacho!

S- Break my balls , don't start something Randall

R- In life you are your own Editor

S- Randall ...what are you doing?........................

........................................... ..............

R- There! Thats better!

S- You've...beaten the shit out of that guy!

R- That would be me. And it felt good! Ms karate into the faces of homophobe disgraces!

S-You've just re-arranged his mouth and left it hanging off his ear!

R- Der.. When did I learn all this? Ballet and Karate were compulsory in the school I went to.

S- I dread to think which nut house near the Kremlin you learnt your skill set from

R- Home from home..

S- But Randall,I've taken dozens of beatings for you when you could have done your stuff without me as well as without you being hurt

R- Wanted to see the colour of your money!

S- Pain is a friend of mine that I don't want to see on a regular basis -Why do you think i paint and write?

R- Don't look at me like that...look you get it right? He's looking at me in that way of his,see?

S- A lab rat in the experimental world of Randall ..What's your surname again..Sorry I've forgotten

R- Randall Fleece, damn it! And here we run alongside Painter's secret - it's an endearing quality, that amnesia of yours. We've got to this juncture so many times before Stephen. Dmitri and I have saved you by finishing off the bastards you've got in a fight with. Dmitri? How many times have you carried him up these stairs? Ok, in Russian then! Exactly 7times! That's what I said Dmitri!

My mother doesn't know about your chivalry either. She's going to roar with laughter!

S- Wait till we tell our children. Hey no sex, just marriage when you're 60

S- What are you talking about

R- You can't remember proposing to me either?

S- I refuse to be driven into drink Randall

R- I too am in no position to drive anywhere too

S- I'm not fucking marrying Dyke Emperor com young Bruce fucking Lee!

R- Of course dear

S- Don't dear me Randall

R- Now where is Nacho Macho's friend? Don't worry, you won't remember a thing anyway!

S- Listen ! you are making serious allegations about my behaviour..

R- Get past the last

S- When, where ,how, what has been going on these last few weeks?

R- 4 years actually S- 4 years that I can't remember?

R- We've had this discussion so many times Stephen

S- You're shitting me!

R- No, but that's what nacho macho's friend over there will be doing by the time I've finished with him. And I haven't even told you about your predilections in a punch up yet!

That's right, you've shown me some good moves too

S- But I've only been in a few jossles ever R- Wipe that smile off your face Sergei !

S- If you can't join them then beat them, right?

R- A little bit of social justice in a direct way brings Gotham Shitty to heal These songs of freedom..

S- No one forgets your singing for a long long time Randall

What are you doing Randall?

R- Just taking some wanton violence out on Dmitri. He'll thank me when he wakes up!

S- Randall! Listen to me! This is not good!

R- Do you want me to turn on you?

S- Let me just reassur you that I've always held you in the very highest opinion with...


S- He no longer has a winning smile or any teeth left to show for it.

R- Yup?

S- And a straight nose isn't for every one

R-Legs are always getting themselves broken

S-No! He won't be wearing any earings anymore

R Uh Hah?

S-What are you doing?

R- Making him another Adams Apple

S-At least you haven't broken every rib of his

R- He's got plenty of spare ribs hasn't he?

S- I don't think they are for rental Randall

R- You must think me a psychopath?!

S- No! No Randall! Dmitri ,Sergei and I have always had your back, every left has got your back! And I'm sure Dmitri will join in a toast, well, once he's back on his feet .. in a few.. years .. or decades

R- Good to know! What were you saying about awkwardness again

S- It's iquite a unusual position to be told that I've proposed to a psych..wrong words. Proposed to you at the same 'site' that we first met

No, neither have i. Perhaps that's because we first met in the other side of town

S- That would explain it , or not.You see firstly I would have thought that I would have remembered proposing to someone, and secondly I've never been asked about marriage to anyone, no, not asked,. ordered to marry someone...

R- 26 hours

S- 26 hours?

It'll take you 26 hours to forget this ever happened That's how long it takes you to get your amnesia thing going generally

S- Good to know. Well actually good not to know, I mean at all! Amnesia, I owe you one, or do I?

R- The Pizza incident, or the kidnapping of the lamp-post!

S- We can keep these unidentified flying objects to ourselves can't we?

R- The time when you use someone in catatonic state to use as a caber. When Scotland beat England at rugby at Murreyfield?

S- look even the Scots can't remember that far back!

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