Where is this place?


Stephen Hornsby-Smith

S- Yeah ! That went well !?

R- Any last words ?

S- That should be me

R- You're all out of first words

S- Well that's an option

R- This is not the pre-Chrimbo drink I said it would be

S- I think I'd already gathered that

R- 6 months for possession

S- That's a bit harsh !

R- for you not for me

S- I'm just visiting..

R- ..........................for 6 months. I need you to work the group here !

S- Forgive my intrusion into your master plan for us, but I'm a little flabbergasted that...er..

R-.........................................................................................................................................that this wasn't the way you thought that ..

S-................................................this day would quite turn out like this ?

R- Quite

S- So , possession of my faculties, for 6 months, means I work the group !?

R- I'm run off my feet here !

S- I'm still recovering consciousness and you're are complaining that you're 'rushed off your feet? What's he doing here anyway?

R- Hector's my masseur ! Hector, Painter, Painter Hector

S- Enchanted I'm sure but Randall ! QUITE a lot of 'No shit !! Actually Randall

R- Aurrora did say you'd see the funny side of this !

S- How fucking right she was !

R- Whose Aurrora anyway? She got me into Gauntanimo !

S- You have women reserving a place for you at other secure black-op prison will kill you sites as well ?

R- She 's such a dear !

S- Don't give me that crap Randall !!

R...........................................................Why not ?

S- Why not is the wrong question here !

R- So that's settled ! We have much work to do here Hornsby ! Wait until you meet the others !

S- No doubt your father has got something stashed away !

R- Every ones hooked !

S- Every ones addicted to the 'talcum powder' or..

R- This is a great opportunity to enjoy serious employment here !

S- This isn't one of your bank scams is it Randall ?

R- If I can get the crowd in Guantanimo addicted to their own stuff...it can work for me here too !

S- And what are these henchmen..........

R-...............................................I don't argue with the script, just with the pronunciation of it - it's henchmun'

S- Good to know !

R- You'll need to wear these spectacles..there you are, and carry with you this tiny little mark..

S-........................................aaaaagh !

R- Thank you 'Needles'! Oh come on ! It's just a little tattoo.

S- I've been bloody branded !

R- More of a permanent passport !

R- ....yeah ! It looks great ! Don't worry about....just a simple injection ! Thanks Bernie ! And you'll be up on your feet in no time.

B- When you seek, no worry unless you bash your head on concrete floor when you panic after LSD makes you timid..

R-....................................'Terrified' not 'timid',Thanks Bernie the bolt !

R- He still thinks I'm talking about a certain athlete.

S- You have real rumour panic issues..

R-...............................................don't fight the impulse control loss

S- Let's just get the bad dreams over with !

R- Now that's just confirmation bias ! You may feel rather unwell I'm afraid ! The blokes need to think you almost died for me ! So , whilst I have my toutsis's tenderly masseured by Heck.

S- Heck !? Shouldn't that be 'By Jove !?

R- Now that's more like the little social descender I was initially drawn to !

R- Just rest and stop talking !

S- I'...mmmm go...ing.. to ..eat.... your ..cat....

R- No you can't hurry love !

S- ...tr.uoble ......a head ...tr..oubl..be...hin..d if ....you..got that ................not..ion........ .watch.. yer..............................

R- ...Speed ! You know he does talk a lot and he does talk very little as well, but you can see the potential can't you Pater ?

F- He look like jerk ! He soft ! No good for you or me !

R- Pater, do you have to do that accent for the readers?

F- I speak from heart !!

R- Trust me readers, he's..a good man !

Reader- Your father or Painter?

R- Who do you think ? Der !

Reader- Clear as mud Randall !

R- I knew I'd regret getting you to tag along !

Reader- Are you going to tell Painter the truth ?

R- What is this? Black dark mirror Phil the K Dick or my mother here ? .. hang-on, i was right my Mother put you up to this didn't she ? Look startled for the camera's and Mater will not know you're on team Randall !

S-...her......... lad in .sane !

R and Reader- Shut it Painter !

S- So why did you let Stormzy in here anyway?

R- Because he needed time away from making money...

S- ....................................So you helped him lose some?

R- Banking here is like cards - Mr'S' is not good at cards !

S- But you make sure 'clean-up' is about spreading your cards ?

R- Who said the world was honest ? Did you hear me say the world was honest? The world can not abide an individual who has made peace with dishonesty without cashing in himself ! Do you want to be one of those blokes ?

S- Love ,leave and weep ?

R- Well if you must put all your eggs in one basket !!

S-" I will survive ! ..Oh not you ! Walk out the door, you're not wanted anymore.."

R- How many broken hearts did you leave behind you because of HER !???

R- Money doesn't make the world go round,... yes perhaps cowardice does too but it is a sure fact that 'love' goes round and trying to avoid a second broken heart 'is what makes the world go round !! Experience it and pass it on 'is the world we exist in Painter !!

S- Succour or sucker? That is the social digestion !

R- Why didn't we have this conversation earlier?

S- We did, 6 lines ago !

R- Are you sure you're up to this ?

S- "Give me love ,love,love crazy love"

R- Van the man still ! Bernie shoot him with something ! He's all X files without relief !

S-"Love is in the air..."

R- Air tight for you ! Too much excitement in one day Painter !

S- " Goodbye yellow shit grove, before I turn you into a toad.."

R- The toad has turned, but is still all Sterling Moss ! Bernie give him one of your potions that I pay all that money for !

S- James Hunt ! The force wasn't with him, but the speed was !

R- You're the governor sweet pea ! Or should I just call you SP ?

S- You need a lawyer Ran ?

R- Spoilt for choice in here ! No outsiders is the rule ! It upsets mummy!

S- Any break-outs on the cards ?

R- My father is in charge of all break-outs

S- But your father builds these monstrosities ?

R- Never turn down a dollar in here Ste !

S- Now that does sound like your mother !

R- The rule of prison is that you break-in and not the other way round

S- You'll be needing some women in here, to make things actually work as an on-going investment?

R- This is run by women you berk! All the screws are women !

S- Out of choice ?

R- Out of coercion ! The screws in here love to get payback time against men !

S- No doubt people meet their prospective husbands and wives in here !

R- It's a dating agency with a twist I confess

S- HANG THE FUCK ON ! Where are my testicles?

R- Ah, Yes. They'll be returned on departure fully restored. Would like them to be aged 18 or....like they are now?

S- I'm going to be a real good boy here !

R- That's the spirit ! If you don't cooperate well then they are non-returnable ! Patter orders ! They are out of my hands so to speak Painter !

S- You are out of your mind !

R- No ! I still don't play chess to impress, just to win ! You, however, are out of balls ! You're all middle-caged !

S- Late middle-aged and time is ticking !

R- Go see a Priest !

S- One fallen of the back of a lorry?

R- The best of them are human Ste !

S- All liberal and no where to go?

R- It's either a job here ,in the urban squalor of life or they become cheerleaders !

S- An Endangered species bribed into ...this !

R- Politics, smolitics ! It's a message from God !

S- And you're doing Yiddish on me ?

R- Yes, but also it's Bracknelleese !

S- God comes from Bracknell? I thought that..

R- He's from Brooklyn...I know..,but it is still a sister city with Bracknell !

S- Woodie Allen was born in Bracknell .

R- Woodie ? From Toy story?

S- Allen

R- Dave?

S- Caesar Azpellicuerta ?

R- Now where both confused ! How did we confuse everybody ?

S- Priest ! Caesar is a football 'Apostle' for the Blues !

R- Got us out of paralysis there Painter ! Nice switch ! Did any body notice ? Did...Didn't Bill Shankly say "Football is more important than life"?

R- Or should that be Christianity is more important than life ?

S- Phone a friend

R- We've got Skype here !

S- Good to know ! As it is good for us all that God probably has had 'skype' before Genesis !

R- Saved us from from sticky situations.........I mean what the hell happened to Phil Collins ?

S- Define it for us !

R- I never could get along with dictionaries ! Kept re-defining words that weren't accurately defined...

S- ...in the ...er..dictionaries ?

R- Do you want me to spell it out for you? ..............Do you think I'm hostile ?

S- The 3 degrees (Sergei, Dimitri and Vladimir ) tend to redefine peoples faces for you !

R- Yes, now we are talking !! A broken nose and lost teeth by Spreading a little distribution or is that retribution? Anyway........those were the days ! Today it isn't the same...

S- You see, if they'd confessed to the Priest and not your torturers... the Priest just holds-up a yellow or a red card !! What could be simpler than eternal damnation ?

R- And the yellow cards ?

S- Purgatory on earth Randall! This is what a Scot once told me : Life is hard, it gets worse and then you die ! That's purgatory here on earth

R- Bring me some of that magic spray hector !!!

S- You're going no where until you are properly forgiven by a Priest !

R- Bernie the Bolt ?

S- Bernie the Bolt is your ..Priest ?

R- It's his day job !

S- How did he survive the Soviet purges? Of the Clergy stupid !?

R- he used to be a chemist

S- Dr death ? A new leprosy coming out in the New Year ?

R- Soviet 'chemical programme was long-hand for Soviet pogroms !

S- A clean...actually not so clean kill ? The same victims ?

R- He wrestled back his conscience by secretly cloning democracy from very acquiescent American Priests !

S- Wait ! You said he was a chemist ?

R- He's also a great actor....and a biochemist specializing in gene therapy.

S- So...?

R- Gorbachov was a clone of an American Priest ?

S- God works in mysterious ways my friend.

S- And the rest of Bernie the Bolt ?

R- Was history ! Now the Russian Orthodox Church has one of their own inside !

S- Valuable or viable work? A lethal cocktail of..?

R- His potions have always risked life but never ever take it !

S- Your whiskey Priest com bio-geneticist chemist who redeems himself by risking the souls of others to make your economy work, underneath the underworld of iniquity ?

R- Degenerate souls make the economy legitimate for others not for themselves !

S- A sacrifice by the spiritually poor - has a ring to it ?!

R- Fiendishly rich people do Dickens here ! That's what Patter used as a blue-print for all his branches !

S- Bank 'branches'? Your father built Prisons in Siberia like they were off-shore investment eggs beyond the reach of the taxman !

R- How else do prisoners and criminals pay for their prison terms?

S- You make it sound as though this is 'Prison Reform '?

R- Criminals should be charged for the crimes they commit especially those who deliberately commit crimes to get long-term convictions to be inside a bank like this !!?

S- The perfect Bank robbery ! The justice system employs criminals to collect and pay their own taxes, get banged-up away from being public menaces and they get to play casino in the mix ?!

R- Slow down Painter ! Don't attract attention to yourself ! The market doesn't like someone nosing around or some one who bucks the trend or who has found an inside track !!

S- The trends are bucked then ? Don't buck the 'market but do fuck the market !!?

R- You'll have your pitch sooner than later !

R- Time to go to sleep Painter !

S- Actually feeling a bit sleepy !

R- Okay.. keep him awake for 17 days Bernie

S- Is that 'CODE' ?

R- You've got 17 days and 17 nights to think about it ! You'll break it or it will break you?

S- That way I won't be useful to you !

R- Have you really thought this through ? Oh wait ! I can help you with that ! Bernie the Bolt ! "Buck-up or fuck-up"?

S- Now Ladies be gentle with me !

R- Boys will be boys and girls will rule the world !

S- Don't forget to pay your parking ticket !

R- Is that po..lice or please ?

S- Did I ever tell you that I've always had time for sociopaths ?

R- U-sayin Usainer than these friends of mine ?

S- I thought we'd met before ? Bernie.. Bernice ! Mickey the chippy?

B- Regents park liberree or the British museeseme ! We had chips in Museeseme ! How are you ..

S-.......................................Painter !

B- Painter ! You good with faces, and boss like you !

R- just remember the importance of the work we do here Bernie; tortur first, friends later !

S- We'll catch-up after the torture then !

...................................................................................................................................................R- PAINTER! Don't do this to me ! Come on man! pull through you son of a bitch ! Don't make me miss you ! Amber ! Can't you do something?

A- It's not in my control..it's up to him whether he revives himself !

R- You are a shit Painter, a fucking lousy Artist a bloody awful friend ! Don't the fuck die on me ! ... Don't leave me alone... I can't

A- Louder ! He could respond to your voice still !

S- Wha..t ..th fucc....

A- We've got him ! Great ! He's alive but I don't know how much we've lost of him yet?

R- Could it be permanent ?

A- STEPHEN? Can you hear me ?

S- Stop fuckin ..shouting at me ! Piss the f..off !

A- He's responding... 125 milligrams now !

R- Why has he shut -up? What have you done Amber ? What the.

S-.....................................................Man, have I got a bloody hangover from hell ! Shit where the fu......am ... I?

A- It's okay.

S- Fuck you Amber fucking-dectrous !

A - Looks good!

R- Are you okay ? Is he going to be okay ?

S- Randall, you are not the woman of my dreams trust me !

R- He's back, he's bloody back !

D- You lucky bastard Mr Painter !

R- Stop your whining Dimitri !

A- Just take some deep breaths Mr Hornsby-smith Okay/ spit any phlegm........... just like that out. easy sit him up ! We're in an ambulance Stephen. you gave us quite a fright back there !

S- I was given quite a fright myself too !

R- That's his sense of humour ! It doesn't take-up much of your time !

R- Is he okay Amber?

S- ...............he is sitting here , right here, right in front of you ! Drop the 3rd person !

A- are you sure you want this arsehole back ?

R- That's his sense of humour Painter !

S- I'm trying to level-out and you want a 'touche'?

A- I just saved your life mother-fucker..so...don't be so ungrateful !

R- His mouth still hasn't recovered from his ego !

S- hey ! I've just come back from the dead..

A-.....................................................you'll need a day or too under observation, but you did collapse and er........took along time to...emerge !

S- Thanks for rescuing me from a nightmare Doc 1

A- Just Amber

S- But Randall is a piece of shit !

A- Are you always so....

R- That's my boy !

A- give him some morphine and then the staff will take him on from there

S- Thanks Amber ! I don't know yet how to be grateful, I'm stil..

A- .........................In rude health !

S- Don't run into any crims today !

A- I only run into crims Painter

S- Well run them all over for me !...errr (pukes)

A- Out of the mouth means it's not in your lungs !

S- Oh, I'm having a fucking ball here !

R- Nuts! Crisps and drink !

S- Errrgh (pukes some more) !

S- Better in than out !

R- Humour, ungratefulness and self-pity?

S- I'm okay about all of it ! I just don't want to puke it all up !

R- If only you could !

M-How is he recovering?

R- Thanks mother !

M- He's a good strong boy

S- I'm sure we have spoken before, but now I'm lost for words..

R- Still with the puke !

S- That would be me

M- Nice ride in the ambulance? Rhetorical ! We'll run down the piece of shit that tried to poison my daughter !

S- So this is her fault ? makes..

R..............................................for quite a night !

A- Randall was quick enough off the mark to save you tonight !

S- I am truly grateful beyond levels that any of you could possibly imagine!

R- No ! No BS ! He actually hasn't thrown in any sarcasm or irony etc

S- Now the torture begins again !

A- we need to pimp stuff back into your lungs to get the poison out of it !

S- What poison ?

A- As Mother has just said to you, someone tried to poison you last night ! It was meant for me ! You took one for the team !

S- Assassinations are not my strong suit !

R- Quite

S- I mean I do do a line in character assassinations for free !

R- Too much too much !

S- Spin those words Ran !

A- Don't give him any alcohol for 5 hours !

S- Good to see you so choked-up over me Ran ?!

R- I'd miss our little catch-ups ! Mother? Are you still there ?

M-.........Amber, I want a full report in an hour on my desk !

A- Absolutely Ma'am !

M- Perhaps we can make some money from this ? Grissley needs telling !

R- Mother ! Not now ?!!

S- I'm up for it !.....

R-............... That was sarcasm Mother !

S- Which part of Mr death do you want for your trophy cabinet Painter ?

R- You know about Mr death ?

M- I authorized the hallucinogen to control your heart before it exploded from a new form of poison. Don't thank me . How is Bernice ?

R- I'll bite Mr death's bollocks off !

S- You fucki..

A- That would be the morphine speaking Ma'am !

S- You are all a bunch of....shit I've just followed through !

S- This, none of this is funny Randall Singer or Sayer or ..

R-......................................................................................whatever, but come-on , you shitting yourself is sort of funny!? After all for 4 hours I thought you were brain dead 1 You owe me a bit of 'relief' !

S-..................................................fuck-you Ran,also Ran !

R- I suffered last night and this morning for you !

S- But you bastards poisoned me twice over and now you want me to play nice ? Am I the only one to see the sunrise here?

R- That was one hour ago Stephen.

S-.........................................And another thing ! Don't call me next time I'll call you !

A- We've been 'calling you' for 6 hours Stephen ! Don't make a habit of it Okay ?

S- What was the LSD gone hard-core doing to me ...I mean exactly what did you give me?

A- 12 Roger 'Utley's' trying to break your head. It was a calculated risk that trauma would wake you up !

S- We're talking the Matrix times A million !

R- Did I come to your rescue?

S- No you did not Randall ! You'd gone all Frederick and Rosemary West on me ! It was like my divorce !

R- I thought you weren't divorced ?

S- I am now !

R- Ouch ! That's got to hurt !

R- Hardly a fair fight ?

S- You took the words out of my mouth, no you also took all my teeth out of my mouth! Don't you dare let Gladys the Shark from Paris hand-out any psycho-analysis Bullshit either !

A- Often a traumatic nightmare can lead us onto a path of enlightenment !

R and S- FUCK-OFF AMBER !!!


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